Ashes and Wine
by PaintedinAllColors
Summary: "I'll leave if you want me to, but I have to know: is there a chance? Or are we ashes and wine?"


Me: Yet another songfic, and the third posting in one day. O.o. I must be going mad. I don't think this one is any good, but whatever, you know? Anyway, me no own, and enjoy.

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><p>He closed his eyes after she stormed out. What had possessed him to do that? What? He had never been so impulsive before, never so urgent to save someone that was not himself. But he had done it. He'd given Elena his blood in a moment of desperation, a moment of sheer vulnerability and fear. He took a deep breath, trying to sort through the jumble of thoughts in him mind. The one that was first and foremost was: Now she's guaranteed to live, and he was overjoyed at that; that he was the one who had ensured her survival. But there was another thought, one lurking in the back of his mind, one that knew he had overstepped his boundaries. One that knew she might never forgive him again, even if she lived. She'd live on, but as a vampire. Why oh why had he done that? He didn't want her to hate him for eternity. The very idea of that happening was too painful to fathom, but it had a very real possibility of happening. He cursed himself and his emotions. What had happened to the coldhearted being who had swore to make his brother's existence so miserable? Why had he melted as soon as he saw her? Elena Gilbert was just a human, a normal human. So what had drawn him to her like a moth to the flame? He should have killed her and went on his way, but she had to begin to trust him. And he had broken that trust today, he realized. By making her live against her will. What had he done? He'd lost the only love worth fighting for, that's what he'd done.<p>

When she awoke as a vampire, she'd hate him, absolutely despise him, and he knew she'd swear to ruin his life, like he'd ruined hers. Like he'd vowed to do to Stefan. And he'd never regain her trust, he knew that now. He would be an outcast once more, forever running from his love. How romantic that sounded, he snorted. It was romantic sounding in theory, but words could not describe the torment he would face when she awoke as a vampire. They would not be able to contain the sheer heartbreak he would face, the waterfall of his emotions crashing down upon him, sweeping him away in their deadly current. He needed to do…something. Apologize? No, she would completely ignore him, and even if she listened, Elena would never believe he was sincere. He should leave. She would be happy if he left, and he was certain she would want him gone from her life after what he'd done.

It was how he'd felt after Stefan had made him complete the change, and he knew how he had felt before that. He would rather die than become a vampire, and that was precisely what he'd tried to do. So, he was leaving Mystic Falls for good now. Stefan would be happy he was gone, Bonnie would be overjoyed. But what about Elena? No, she was going to hate him for what he'd done, and would want him out of her life completely. Damon rose from the bed, feeling like the living dead, which, in a sense, he was. He simply went downstairs.

"Stefan, I'm leaving," he stated to his little brother, who was holding Elena in his arms, trying to comfort her.

"What? Now?" Stefan's eyes were wide in shock.

"Yes," he nodded, closing his eyes so they wouldn't see the turmoil of emotions in them.

"You're leaving?" Elena's voice still held a tremble, and her eyes were rimmed with red, but that was all the traces left that she had been crying.

"Yes," he replied, opening his eyes once he was sure they wouldn't betray his inner turmoil.

"Why?" she asked him, eyes narrowed. "Are you being a coward and running away to save your own skin?"

"No," he looked straight at her. "You'll hate me when you wake up, so I figure that it's better if I leave."

"Hate you?" she asked incredulously. "Damon Salvatore, right now I despise you, loathe you with all my heart! How dare you do this to me?" She glared at me, a fire blazing bright behind her eyes. Even though I knew she would say that, it still hurt. "You betrayed me! Our friendship, did that even matter to you?" She hurled those angry words at me.

"That was why I did it!" I couldn't help but reply. "You were the one person who bothered to get to know me. Do you really think that I would just stand by and let you die?" I could see that I'd caught her off guard.

"No," she said. "But I thought you would at least let me try to figure it out! I don't want to be a vampire!"

"Well at least you live this way," I shot back.

"I would say that I want nothing to do with you, Damon," she began. "But the fact that you actually cared enough to go to such drastic measures…," she trailed off, not finding the right word to describe anything. She sighed in frustration.

"Love," Stefan interrupted. "I think Damon was right. We have limited time before the ritual, and haven't found any way to prevent you from getting killed." I nodded my thanks to him, a thin, bitter smile forming on my lips.

"Damon, I don't know what to do," Elena sighed, frustrated. "You're saving me, but I don't know if I want to be saved."

"Well, Elena, the thing is, it's a shame to let you walk away," he told her, a hint of bitterness in his voice. "You can't just wait to die." I don't know if my fate with her is sealed, he thought. But I don't want it to be.

"I know I can't but I don't want to be a vampire!" she cried. "I want ot remain human, there's so many things I haven't done yet! I still have my whole life ahead of me!"

"Can you forgive me? Is there a chance for me to be your friend again? I'll leave if you want me to. If that's what you want, then there's nothing left for us to say," Damon said quietly, eyes laden with tears he refused to shed. "Or are we ashes and wine?"


End file.
